all 27 comments

[–]missingno 11 points12 points ago

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remember that you are funnier and more interesting than you think you are

[–]mmultiplier 11 points12 points ago

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if im not deleting your stuff your not posting enough

--a real devtesla quote, from somewhere (i think)

[–]devtesla 9 points10 points ago

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Yep it's my moderation motto

[–]devtesla 9 points10 points ago

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I get angry with you sometimes but I really do like that you post here and I want to see yur posts :(. If you need to take a break that's okay but you are always welcome!

As for in general: social justice circles aren't just one kind of thing, all of them are way different from one another and many aren't healthy in the first place so I don't even like, want to fit into them. I'm really fortunate in that I've been given a chance to make my own cool places to post online so like, I don't have to worry about this as much, but fitting in anywhere is hard and I hope you find good folks to talk to.

Let me know if you have anything else you're worried about! I've known you forever and I care about you, please take care of yourself!

[–]srsly[S] 6 points7 points ago

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Lol I don't need to be reminded that I'm always welcome - I have the root password to the server. And TBH I think that's the crux of the problem. I'm looking at greenie's last posts on this site and although I didn't escalate, I was the one who should have been yelled at. Greenie's fuck up was that she should have given me the week-long ban, not lif.

When I first discovered shitredditsays (SRS was my introduction to feminism fyi), I was all up into reading feminist literature/blogs, I was into calling out redditors and keeping every word above board, etc etc. This is sort of my pattern - I get into something I realize is right, I go in hard, and after a few years I cool off on it. It happened with becoming a democrat, it happened with becoming an atheist (I was an atheist with a capital R), and it happened with feminism/social justice.

I've been a milquetoast liberal SAWCSM feminist for a while and that means a whole lot of keeping my opinions to myself, and for TF specifically I'm wondering if the community wouldn't be better off without me. I'm am very sure I need to shush up in other internet spaces.

[–]mmultiplier 10 points11 points ago

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Of course this site doesn't have an anti-sawcsm policy and I don't think anyone here feels that way. You even have the right attitude in not talking over anyone else about things, so it doesn't seem like its going to be a problem. The thing you're pointing to is imo really more about how other people handled things, and if you did something wrong, not only is it small beans, but it happened > a year ago and since then (and before) all I can remember is you doing cool posts that I'm always glad to see :). And like, okay, I'm going to be really bad about wording this... but like I'm a GAWCSM, and I sort of feel like if there are safe, highly-modded spaces especially for oppressed people, I think gender, racial, and trans issues are a lot more poorly dealt with on the net than gay issues, and I don't want to say that somehow this site is like just for me or something, but if I did have a complaint about this site it's just that there's not enough people. its sad to see '4 upvotes' or whatever, and given the fact that youre not bringing anyone here down, and that we all like you, and that we all want to have a good time posting and seeing each others posts, I think we'd all be loosing out on a lot if u left.

[–]srsly[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Thanks for that, this post really helped.

[–]devtesla 7 points8 points ago

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I second this post

[–]dj_zetkin 5 points6 points ago

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i third this post

[–]Presidential_Afro 8 points9 points ago

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srs like a lot of other sj circles always felt super hostile to me i get why there are some post on my tumblr that are like that its something i dont like but its also just sort of a knee jerk reaction and a lot sj circles are ok with it or just make jokes about it so i get why you feel like you have to keep your opinions to yourself but really unless you are actively harming someone (and you have not as far as i can tell) you can just say what you want

[–]srsly[S] 9 points10 points ago

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i want to talk about how i feel really good about hillary clinton and that i donated for her in order to enter the "hamilton with hillary" sweepstakes.

[–]hoppet 10 points11 points ago

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After reading all the other comments i just wanted to say i don't think you're doing anything wrong and i also don't want this to be a place where people are afraid of holding in their opinion, provided they're not doing harm to other people.

Especially something like "I'm a Clinton supporter." I mean we have people of all kinds of left-leaning affiliations here and if we're gonna ostracize someone for leaning left differently than someone else than I don't wanna be here.

I wish I could feel good about a candidate lol but I just can't get myself to trust any politician ever :P.

[–]devtesla 5 points6 points ago

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I think that would be a good post!

[–]acleverprofilename 7 points8 points ago

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As long as you don't speak over people about their experiences and you are willing to apologize when you make a mistake its ok; and from what i've seen you do both those things fine :)

[–]toasthaste 6 points7 points ago

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I still feel really bad about the Greenie thing. It was my shitty, poorly considered joke that set it all off, and I wasn't even aware anything was happening until later :/ I wish I'd known and just, like, apologized or something

[–]smart4301 6 points7 points ago

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I wasn't around and I tried to make sense of it afterwards and some of it's deleted but it's just like, the thing that strikes me about it is how stuff massively escalates as soon as people stop assuming that someone means well.

[–]devtesla 3 points4 points ago

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You really shouldn't feel bad about it! Greenie sincerely thought that she should never have to put up with someone disagreeing with her on this website, and that led her to make bad calls and spark a lot of tensions that were going to boil over at some point.

It is no one's fault but her's that this happened, and honestly I sleep better knowing that she's not coming back. I can't run a community when someone who doesn't participate in it all that much can come in and expect to do anything they want.

Fun postscript: greenie works for Imzy now and sent an angry PM to me on reddit cause I mentioned that I didn't like it on twitter. One of many reasons I'll likely never use that website again!

[–]1vs 9 points10 points ago

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so u didn't give a lot of reasons so i read the comments

i'm trans & gay and even then i feel the same way about myself sometimes

So here's a few things I will say:

  1. There are some spaces reserved for some groups and it is sometimes really hard to figure out which spaces these are because sometimes they're not even "spaces" but just things on Tumblr that you should or should not reblog. However I'm p sure this is not one of those spaces, unless ur an asshole, and i don't think u are?

  2. Good allies are actually important. I kinda disagree w/ the "don't give allies a cookie" thing b/c how else will allies know they're doing good and not bein POWERFUL ALLIES??

  3. When I thought I was cis & het, and I knew only a few things about trans folk. i was a Bad Fit for sjw justice circles and i said The Wrong Thing all the time, but a lot of people seemed to be understanding?? tbh some people did get a bit hostile towards me regarding ignorant things i said but i don't think they're here anymore but if someone is bein hostile towards u and threatening you then idk if they should be here

  4. i know 0 about the thing re: lif & green so i can't say much there, but if you're hosting this server for folks then that's a p cool thing

[–]neku 8 points9 points ago

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idk what this is about but you seem totally fine??? if you just got in a fight w devtesla or anything then dw everybody's got in a fight with devtesla on tf.org

[–]srsly[S] 6 points7 points ago

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no, devtez and I aren't fighting

[–]mmultiplier 7 points8 points ago

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You have good posts and I hope you keep on posting. I don't know if it relates to this, but sometimes on this site people are just a bit more dogmatic than I am about certain things, or there will be rules that I don't agree with 100% but I just assume that a lot of people are in the same boat and I agree/want to play by the rules we've established etc.

[–]smart4301 3 points4 points ago

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I don't know if it relates to this, but sometimes on this site people are just a bit more dogmatic than I am about certain things

sometimes I will encounter two people I like equally dogmatic on opposite sides of an issue I have stayed out of my lane on and I'll be like "huh"

Sometimes my opinion drifts one way over time and sometimes I can't make sense of it for shit but on here more than anywhere else I find it easiest to assume the best of people

[–]Presidential_Afro 7 points8 points ago

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your cool dog

for what its worth i dont feel like i fit in with sj circles ether a lot of the time

[–]BuffyTheFempireSlayr 7 points8 points ago

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Hello, hi! I've already told you this but you actually really helped me today with stuff that I was struggling with so I'd be extremely bummed if you felt that you weren't contributing valuable stuff to the community! That's 100% not the case.

I think a big component of social justice spaces (and maybe this is just the teacher in me) is providing a space to learn and grow. I think the moderation style of TF factors this in somewhat -- posts that break the rules are usually removed and mods give a good reason for the removal, rather than just straight up deleting or insta-banning. TF seems to operate on much more of a good faith moderation style than some other SJ spaces that I've seen, which is great.

I've never seen you do anything egregiously awful (or even regular awful) on this site, tbh. You seem to have a great sense of knowing when to let others share their experiences and when to offer your own, which is one of the things that I think makes TF stand out above other places -- the community is overall very respectful of hearing others out.

Also idk how much this point relates to your current thoughts but something that I've noticed about a lot of SJ spaces is that many participants are former edgelords of varying degrees (including myself, lmao). Sometimes I think we forget that (or we feel bad about the things we said/believed/thought in the past) and we put really high expectations of ourselves to do better -- to the point where if we feel as though we've failed to meet those expectations, we double-down on ourselves even harder. None of us are pure bastions of social justice, and maintaining a compassionate space where people can make those mistakes and learn from them is essential to keeping our community thriving!

Of course if you need to take a break from online spaces for a while, that's absolutely okay! Lord knows I've done it here a couple of times, and tbh I sometimes find certain places (more so Tumblr than anything else) overwhelming and need to remove myself from them. If you're genuinely not feeling great about your participation in online SJ communities and need to take a break, that's valid (and often very helpful!). If you do decide to do that, we'll be happy to see you again when/if you decide to come back!

TL;DR you are gr8, srsly. Srsly.

[–]FZA 7 points8 points ago

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I've only seen good posts from you fwiw

[–]toasthaste 7 points8 points ago

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You are fuckin rad and I always love seeing your posts.

I have more thoughts on this and how much I value you being here but it's morning and my brain is still buffering but just know like, the fempire is great and it wouldn't be the same without you

[–]dj_zetkin 5 points6 points ago

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im late to the thread and most of what i have to say is covered already but being a 'good fit' for anything is overrated, what is really cool is being kind and caring about people in the face of an absurd unjust cruel universe. in my experience that's you. you are really cool party on