all 4 comments

[–]vinithehat 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if the people you work with are "in no way progressive or into social justice" then good luck with even getting 'they' used, but i suppose it your best bet.

as someone who grew up as a boy who would occasionally be mistaken for a girl, if at the time someone asked me what my 'preferred pronoun' was i would be super confused, and then when i understood what you were asking me (are you a boy or a girl?) i would be super embarrassed.

i guess i have about zero advice and about a tiny bit of useless insight. sorry.

[–]misandrobot5000[S] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah I know my coworkers are not going to be on the same page as me when it comes to this situation. But I can at least educate myself so that if I face a similar situation I can better understand how to navigate it.

I generally work with K-1 grade during afterschool, so preferred pronouns don't ever really come up because their parents just assume their children are cisgender and present them as such.

[–]rice 3 points4 points ago

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honestly i think people use "they" and "them" a lot more often and a lot more casually than they realize.

like if you're asking a coworker to get one of the kids ready and you're like "hey, get 'em ready" i don't think anyone's gonna bat an eye. or you can just call em "this kid" or ask their name, which is probably the best choice. basically avoid the pronoun issue altogether unless someone is already forthcoming about it, since, like vini said, it can be a really uncomfortable situation for the kid.

(this is basically what i did when i was helping out with childcare at a daycare place)

[–]trimalchio 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so... as another kid who got misgendered a lot... i would absolutely agree with the wonderful hat about how just realizing that you're the only kid being asked that question is going to feel super embarrassing.

Basically, singling someone out for gender pronoun questions is just as good as walking up and saying you think they're trans (ie completely inappropriate)

So basically the only way to avoid asking about their gender is to avoid gendering them. It's kinda hard though, it requires that you think before you say things... but there's really no reason not to use "they" or "kiddo" or just asking their name or something. But basically, practicing being gender neutral a lot when talking is really good and there's no reason not to be more practiced with talking without gendering people.